Pensieve: place where thoughts are deposited

Hello. I have been gone for a long time. Now, i am quite "lost in Space". :)  I don't know how to navigate through this new Windows Live Spaces. I am having difficulty customizing my page. Anyhow, I will try to do that again next time.

 

Thanks for those who missed me, especially to Marie--- you are such a sweet person. I missed you too, spacefriends. Just an update about me, last July, I resigned from my job and had a new one. Since then, I was not able to update my space. I have new friends, and hundreds of batchmates to work with. They are really fun, which definitely makes our work easier... but lately, one of my friends is encouraging me to try a different company... and to be honest with you, I am a little tempted. That is because I am not very satisfied with the training that they give their agents. Oh boy, is this what they call quarter-life crisis? Well, I went to church this noon and I prayed for some Guidance.

 

      "I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained, I am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law given by God, sanctioned by man. I will hold the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad -- as I am now.  Laws and principles are not for he time when there is no temptation; they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise from mutiny against their rigor; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If, at my individual convenience, I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth so I have  always believed; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane, with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster that I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to standby. There I plant my foot."

I feel weird today. Actually, I've been feeling like this for days now. Today is one of my friend's last day in our office. And soon, I will aslo be writing my own farewell letter. Will I cry?

 

For almost 4 years, I've gained friends (and few foes, probably), and bid farewell to some as they've also moved  to another company.

 

Surely, I will miss the company of my friends. The chats, the e-mail chats, the laughs and stories that we share with each other. and in one of my entries, I mentioned that I hate goodbyes. I will miss the friendly faces.

 

The Hard Lessons on Love and Men…

by Aileen Endaya 

 

1.   A man won’t let go if he really loves you.

 

Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you.  He does not love you and does not value having you.  Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you.  There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

 

2.   Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship.

 

There is only one reason why he ended your relationship.  He just does not love you.  Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done.  Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

 

3.   Do not get hang up on your past.

 

Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you.  Do not treat him or the relationship the same way.  Do not compare.  He will not react the same way as your ex.  Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl.  What happened with your ex was not your fault.  It was not because you didn’t guard him enough or you didn’t make him happy enough. 

 

4.   Do not look into images.

 

How many times have you met a girl who didn’t have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice?  Do not rely on images.  Oftentimes, it is far from reality.  Do not fear men just because your “supposedly” perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you. 

 

5.   Always have your own set of rules.

 

Set your limits on how far you’d go for a guy.  It’s perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it’s worth it.  And it’s worth it if the guy is treating you right. 

 

6.   Do not be scared to lose him.

 

Don’t be scared that he’ll break up with you.  Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage.  Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up. 

 

7.   Avoid calling your guy.

 

It’s a guy thing.  The relationship will definitely be better if it’s the guy who’s calling, not the girl.  He will get tired of you if you keep on calling.  He will lose interest and challenge.  More so, he will get annoyed.  But it’s a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number.  But avoid as much as possible.  Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).

 

8.   There is a guy who will value you.

 

There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved.  And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together.  So don’t lose hope.  Don’t settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women.  There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can (*wink*).

 

Also, do not believe him when he says it’s just the way he really is.  He’s not the sweet or expressive-type.  Remember during your first few weeks together?  Where has that sweet guy gone?  He simply is not that into you anymore.

 

9.   Always be the only one, no matter what.

 

Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can’t get rid of for whatever reason.  If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can’t leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress. 

 

10.   He must respect you.

 

No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you. 

 

11.   If he fooled you, end it.

 

Philandering once is enough.  You can never trust nor respect the person again. 

 

12.   Never start a relationship the wrong way.

 

Do not steal another girl’s man, for whatever reason.  Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last.  You will only end up wasting more years of your life.

 

13.   Do not force yourself into a relationship.

 

Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn’t come yet.  Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc..  If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet. 

 

14.   Do not settle.

 

If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly.  He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be.  Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.

 

15.   A relationship has to have love.

 

Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work.  And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.

 

16.   Don’t be afraid to be single.

 

It’s fun to be single, try it.  You can go out whenever and wherever you want.  You are free.  You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free!  Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one.  Do not settle.

 

17.   Be a good girl.

 

Be a good girl to attract a good guy.  Enter the relationship with sincere intentions.  Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years).  If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.

 

18.   Love without limits.

 

Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt.  But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it.  If you didn’t give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

 

19.   You will get over him.

 

Love is over-stated.  Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.

 

20.   Be the one.

 

Act like you are the one.  Don’t be a nagger.  Don’t hinder his gimmicks.  Don’t give in to him too easily.  Make him treat you as important.  Don’t be easy.  Don’t be like every other girl he had in his life. 

I am currently cleaning my mailbox and I came upon this email. Sent by my friend who is a former officemate. History repeats itself... I will also send this to my colleagues.

 

 

THE GREATEST ADVISES

 

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

This is one forwarded e-mail that I recieved yesterday. I find it very inspiring and I hope that you will like it. Read on...  

One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

 

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me...

 

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

 

"Yes", I replied.

 

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

 

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.  And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.

 

"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

 

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.  It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

 

He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots"

 

"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." "Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."

 

"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high!"

 

"How high should I rise?" I asked.
 
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

 

 "As high as it can?" I questioned.

 

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can." I left the forest and bring back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you.

 

God says in Psalms 84: 11 that the Lord Jesus is your "sun (to give you warmth and joy) and shield (to protect you) and He will not withhold good things from those who walk uprighteously." No problem is too big for God to carry on His shoulder. Come to Him in prayer.
 
Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness;
Bad days give you experiences;
Both are essential to life.
 
Keep going....
--
Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You
Human, Failures keep You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, but Only
God keeps You Going! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it smacked me big time!

 

2 hours…

 

3 hours…

 

the clock just ticks away.

 

Today, I am in the office. Bored to death.. I’ve already visited every site that I can think of (except porn, of course, hehehehe) and read almost all of Francis Magalona’s blog entries. There's really not much to do.

 

Goodness! This day is really slooooowww…

 

Because, when you're a child...

 

...it's easier to make new friends. you only have to be with another kid.

 

... you have your future ahead of you.

 

...you're lovelife is not an issue.

 

...you can eat as much cake, ice cream, chocolate as you want without feeling guilty.

 

...being fat is actually cute.

 

BOY: Mom, are these my brains (referring to his genitals)?

MOM: Not yet, dear.

As I am gathering all the strength that I have just to keep myself from falling asleep, I have organized my blog entries and address a category in my space. Also, I have been browsing the net (shhh... ) and come accross this poem by another blogger: epol

 

read and enjoy... and react, if you may. :)

 

 

 

Another poem about love.


its an irritatingly unique, indescribable, superb emotion that flows within our entire wholeness..

..& never can you take it away from someone.

love never dies; people do & people kill love.

love sucks; but without love, everything sucks.

love is for the world; without love where is the world?

love is all bullshit; but if you don't love, you are a moron, idiot and a whole waste of human flesh.

love is full of color; without it, it will be just gloomy blacks & sorrowful greys.

love hurts; but love heals much faster.

love messes everything up; but it also stitches & patches things up.

love makes you sniff & cry; love makes you die of laughter.

love burns until you melt down; but love can burn hell down.

love can't be undone; its permanent.

you can fall in love; you can't fall out of love, its just that love moves in a different level - lower or higher.

love is perfect; flaws & faults doesn't make it imperfect, the people-that-don't-know-how-love-works do.

LOVE DOES NOT NEED BECAUSE, BECAUSE LOVE IS THE CAUSE.